We must first understand that Socionics and MBTI are different, and they assign letters to each type differently, too. To start our road into understanding Conflict Relationships, we first need to where these relationships are found amongst the 16 Types.
These relations exist between the following types only:
- INTj (LII, Ti-Ne) – ESFp (SEE, Se-Fi)
- INTp (ILI, Ni-Te) – ESFj (ESE, Fe-Si)
- INFp (IEI, Ni-Fe) – ESTj (LSE, Te-Si)
- INFj (EII, Fi-Ne) – ESTp (SLE, Se-Ti)
- ISTp (SLI, Si-Te) – ENFj (EIE, Fe-Ni)
- ISFp (SEI, Si-Fe) – ENFj (LIE, Te-Ni)
- ISTj (LSI, Ti-Se) – ENFp (IEE, Ne-Fi)
- ISFj (ESI, Fi-Se) – ENTp (ILE, Ne-Ti)
After getting these basics, we can start defining what these conflicts are and how they are perceived. According to psychologists Valentina Meged and Anatoly Ovcharov (2011), these are the most difficult relationships. They make it very clear: trying to impose their views on each other and avoiding each other’s value to the team. Additionally, they will continuously strive to point out errors and flaws on one another, are often found arguing, disagreeing, and trying to diminish each other’s opinions. When there are conflict relationships, even jokes and compliments are misperceived, which makes people undervalued, offended, and angry.
Another problematic thing the authors mention is that how things start with them may not be what one would expect; “while dating and still maintaining some psychological distance, conflict partners are often sympathetic to each other, admire each other’s strengths, talk about their interests, exchange their opinions. When they transition to more frequent contact, mutual irritation, and misunderstandings arise. It is advisable to adhere to traditions and discuss all changes beforehand. Only careful attitude to each other can save this relationship”.
Conflict relations are a handful in any type of environment. Not only will they have issues with each other, but they will also be unable to avoid getting on each other´s way and will try hard on making the other look weak, disposable, or ignorant. These relationships are constant battles that will make anyone feel frustrated and lost.
V.V. Gulenko talks about the “Criteria of reciprocity,” and there he provides us with a few suggestions on how to make these relations work better, some of these tips are:
- Strictly divide duties among yourselves and carry them out according to a firm schedule/plan.
- Be rational, and avoid making your feelings rive your relations with each other, put goals ahead.
- Use humor and jokes to uplift each other’s moods, but do it carefully and avoid any sarcasm.
- Do not allow any mediators into your relations.
- Make it a tradition to celebrate the most pleasant moments of your relationship.
- Help each other in the most challenging moments.
Also, to help work with conflict relations, Ekaterina Filatova “Art of understanding yourself and others” says: “It is clear that in these relations, partners can sympathize with each other only when they are at a considerable distance. Each is attracted by the strong function of the other partner, in the sphere of which he is most vulnerable and unsure of himself.” This affirmation means that even though these relations are intended to be disruptive, they may understand each other a lot better if they are at a distance, where they can take advantage of each others´abilities and avoid interacting with their flaws.
By: Dr. Graciela González Calderón-Psychologist
- Filatova, E. “Art of understanding yourself and others.” https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/109-Conflict-Relations – September 25th, 2011
- V.V. Gulenko. https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/109-Conflict-Relations – September 25th, 2011
- Meged, Valentina. Ovcharov, Anatoly, https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/109-Conflict-Relations – September 25th, 2011
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