Extinguishing relations are also called opposing, contrary, or relations of neutralization. It is common for members of these relations to have mutual interests and find common ground. However, they are not always understanding each other and often argue about petty details. Their name attains from the fact that these relations tend to extinguish each other’s initiatives, so basically, their existence is based on “letting go.” Extinguishing relations exist between the following types:
- INTp (ILI, Ni-Te) – ENTp (ILE, Ne-Ti)
- INFp (IEI, Ni-Fe) – ENFp (IEE, Ne-Fi)
- ISFp (SEI, Si-Fe) – ESFp (SEE, Se-Fi)
- ISTp (SLI, Si-Te) – ESTp (SLE, Se-Ti)
- INFj (EII, Fi-Ne) – ENFj (EIE, Fe-Ni)
- INTj (LII, Ti-Ne) – ENTj (LIE, Te-Ni)
- ISFj (ESI, Fi-Se) – ESFj (ESE, Fe-Si)
- ISTj (LSI, Ti-Se) – ESTj (LSE, Te-Si)
Valentina Meged and Anatoly Ovcharov say that in these relations, support for one’s projects is hard to get, the primary positive interaction here is the exchange of opinions, suggestions, and requests. The authors say that these partners get along better when they work separately; otherwise, they will put too much attention to what the other is doing to diminish their efforts.
On the other hand, A.V. Bukalov and G. Boiko, in their book “Why Saddam Hussein made a mistake, or what is Socionics?” give us a simple explanation on why these relations are so neutralizing in a less serious note: “In these relations, the introvert extinguishes activity of the extravert.” As you can see, it is a relation based on evolving as a team, as partners, allowing the best attributes to take part and control, not based on a power trip as other authors may have made it look.
Also, V.V. Gulenko in “Criteria of reciprocity” talks about the “Comfortable discussion” that is possible between Extinguishing partners, where the debate is a vital tool of improvement, he says:
“The more active partner relays his opinions, while the less active one offers commentary and imparts his corrections. Each other’s peculiar thinking style feels like a pleasant surprise. However, in the presence of a third party extinguishment effect occurs – your partner impedes your attempts to develop a mutually interesting idea, arguing against it.”
This statement is excellent news for any team, as it is a unique opportunity to see a partnership built each other into a useful, more proactive and less hectic interaction. Criticism managed positively can undoubtedly bring out excellent outcomes when it comes to these relations. The best way to improve communication amongst Extinguishing Partners is by socializing in a narrow circle of friends or associates. They are not very comfortable when it comes to strangers; they can also go a long way by learning to accept criticisms of each other and take ideas and suggestions as incentives to grow and accomplish more thanks to and not despite each other.
By: Dr. Graciela González Calderón-Psychologist
- Meged, Valentina. Ovcharov, Anatoly as quoted in https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/90-Extinguishment-Relations
- Bukalov, A.V. Boiko, G. “Why Saddam Hussein made a mistake, or what is Socionics” as quoted in https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/90-Extinguishment-Relations
- Gulenko, V.V. “Criteria of reciprocity” as quoted in https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/90-Extinguishment-Relations
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